A Journey Through TMS
Grace Kane is the sole subject of our Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Case Study. The data collected from her TMS treatment and Ms. Kane’s first-hand accounts are the cornerstones in our efforts to make TMS a Medicaid approved treatment for Treatment-Resistant Major Depressive Disorder throughout Colorado. TMS is an FDA cleared treatment that’s covered by almost 100% of commercial/private insurance and should be covered by Medicaid as well.
Grace’s story has a common thread amongst those suffering from debilitating depression. After decades of reclusion and countless trials of medications and therapy that lead nowhere, she finally found a solution through TMS. TMS has successfully alleviated the depression of thousands of patients across the county. Here is Grace’s story and journey through her TMS treatment…
“I Heard Music”
By: Grace Kane
I heard music; for the first time in five years, I heard music and let it play. Driving home from my fourth TMS treatment, I sobbed. Huge tears streamed down my face, taking my mascara with them.
I cried like I hadn’t cried in years. But, for the first time in years, they weren’t the physical reflection of my suffering but instead tears of relief.
After leaving Bright Futures Psychiatry, I got in the car, turned the key, and listened as the familiar sound of NPR filled the air.
Normally I find comfort in this, but at that moment comfortable felt boring. So I pressed one of the three preset channels I have avoided like the plague for the better part of a decade and turned the volume up.
I didn’t crank it till the base shook my car, I adjusted it by maybe two notches, but the point stands, I put music on the radio and let it play.
For almost six years I have found consolation in the voices of reporters recounting the headlines on NPR.
Each time I started the car and heard the end of the daily news report or the highly-informative exchange between host and guest, I felt a sense of relief.
This is not that the topics were generally light or humorous, the majority are almost always thought-provoking, evocative, even uncomfortable.
I took solace in knowing that nothing on NPR could break me quite as painfully and quite as easily as the combination of thoughtful lyrics and a well-written melody speaking to my heart could.
Out of self-preservation, I surrendered so many parts of myself in exchange for protection from my own mind.
Once music began to threaten my ability to keep myself together, I made it disappear from my life.
I erased my music collection of over four thousand songs from my computer as I tried to erase it from my life.
Thus, the act of changing the station on my car radio, such a seemingly unimportant act, was my first step into the Tiananmen Square of my battle against the tyranny of depression; a protestation of rights usurped.
If from this point onwards, the effectual results of my TMS treatment stall or cease, I will not be as disappointed as one might think, nor simply add it to the list of failed attempts.
It has given me back something eleven antidepressants and countless doctors never have.
Every time I listen to music on my phone, in my car, wherever I may be, I will quietly relish in this first victory over depression.
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation or TMS is a safe, drug-free, FDA cleared treatment for depression. If you are struggling with depression or your current regimen of antidepressants aren’t helping, we encourage you to request a TMS consult today. You can request a TMS consult by filling out our Appointment Request Form.
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